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The Good Student
You're slipping, my English teacher warns
during the Shakespeare unit, but he doesn't know
anything. I'm off to meet my first real lover,
who drives an MG and slides tiny diamonds
onto my fingers. The cheerleaders watch me
step into his car. I'm dying to see you
tied up, he smiles, forcing my arms
to the corners of the motel bed. He knocks
at houses where I baby sit on weekends:
I can teach you about this stuff. The deaths
are code for sex, he explains, but I
don't care, always skipping quizzes now,
always late: my classes, my period. He
tosses me into the air one afternoon, dropping
me once, twice, throwing me down
he's sorryacross a chair. Propped
on pillows at home, I lie to bleed, then rise
bone-white and shaking to show off my new
gold choker to the other sophomore girls
surrounding my bed.
Nothing
can stop me now.
Not the split lip from my dad's slap. Not
the bright shin bruise where he knocks me
into the wall when I come home with a kiss-
stained throat. Doesn't it make me
Annabel Lee, doesn't it make me
Catherine on the moors? The man who loves me
circles my neckAll I have to do
is squeeze. My knees weaken, the room rolls
out of focus. Falling, I recallHow now,
cousin, wherefore sink you down?and giggle
until he shakes my shoulders, Why didn't you bite
or scratch or kick? I've learned to stay so thin
he can lift me with one arm, while I sigh the way
Beth Ann from drama club taught. Twirling
my new jewelry, we practiced our low,
movie-star voices, This is romance to die for.
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